Friday, April 1, 2011

Babies.


Babies (Thomas Balmès, 2010)

Category: Sad movie about overpopulation. This is serious, guys. I know I write a lot of jokes in this blog, but this post is deathly serious. I think this film is as serious as any of the others I’ve written about for the blog. 

You’re probably thinking, “What is this nonsense? Babies is just a documentary about cute babies. It’s not at all sad.” But you’re wrong. The implications of Babies go far beyond just the so-called “cute” babies. (We’ll just see how cute they are when I watch the film, people.) Trust me, the actual message of this movie is far deeper: I think that Babies, at its core, is a film about overpopulation. And overpopulation is the biggest problem that we as human beings face, a problem that will eventually cause the end of all life on Earth. 

I told you this was serious.

My familiarity with this issue: According the CIA World Factbook, the world birth rate is currently 19.15 (that’s the number of childbirths per 1,000 people per year), and the world death rate is currently 8.12. This indicates a population growth rate of 1.092% per year. Every day, over 360,000 babies are born. And as we live on a planet with scarce resources, all these new babies, who outnumber all the new dead people, will keep taking more and more of the stuff. If we don’t do anything about it, all the stuff will be gone one day, and there will be nothing left for any of us. And slowly, the human race will die off, one by one. This will happen.

Now, I have a modest proposal as to how to fix all this. But I won’t share it with you now. I need this watch this movie first, and then discuss it in the context of the film's message. And then we can really talk about how to solve this urgent problem.

OK. Here goes.

What I thought of the movie:





AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. 

LOOK!!! LOOK AT THE BABIES. OHHHHH MY GOODNESS. THEY ARE SO CUTE. LOOK AT HOW CUTE THEY ARE. ALL FOUR OF THEM. 

AWWWOHWOHVWOHOSHWOAJOWIJFIOHSOHH.

How I, John Krizel, related to the movie: I'm really sorry about all that. I got a little carried away. Let me just pull myself together here for a minute.

OK yes, they're cute. Really, REALLY cute. But I can't let the facts about the incredibly serious problem of overpopulation be overshadowed just because





GAHHHHOAHOWHOHHAOHWOHHWHOWH SO CUTE. AND THE ANIMALS TOO!! LOOK AT THEM NEXT TO THE ANIMALS.

C'MON. 

This is SERIOUS. Overpopulation is a HUGE ISSUE. The world simply cannot sustain our current level of


AHHHHHHHHHH SHE HAS A CELL PHONE. LOOK AT HER PLAYING WITH THAT CELL PHONE. WHAT'S SHE GONNA DO WITH THAT. 

What was I saying?

How I felt after the movie ended: OK fine. Do I still think we should eat all of the babies to curb overpopulation? No, I don't. 


You win, Babies. You win.

(Happy April Fool's Day, FsOTB.)

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